BEST PRACTICES: Many families wonder what is expected of them with regard to the au pair’s bedroom and what it needs to include to make the au pair happy. What have you done to the au pair bedroom in your house to make it feel welcoming for them?
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7 }* I$ o$ { ^. bI’m grateful for your insight.' H" x' X& W+ c
; d5 S, H' |" ~/ b, ~, gHF's ideas:
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1.We make sure the AP knows that the bedroom is her private space. We do not enter her room unless invited (except if there were an emergency). We make sure our kids respect it as her space as well.
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We allow her to pick out 2 sets of sheets and a comforter upon her arrival. We also make sure she has plenty of pillows.
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A desk, with a computer, a whiteboard, dresser, bookshelf, and tv are here for her use.
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We provide picture frames for her to use while she is here.
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2.We have a small fridge, respect the space by all members of the family, laptop computer, t.v. with DVD. We just added a roku player from netflix, a phone, and pic frames. We keep it prettty simple on the walls as it gets filled up with pics and maps give them the stuff that puts on walls easily and takes of easily. This was our fourth au pair so we decided to get him a new comforter set and pillows.
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3.This year was the year I redid the AP room (after 4+ years) - and before my new au pair arrived, I mailed her pictures of what I was thinking of getting, how the room was looking - and had her help pick out comforter, paint colors, etc. it was great to decorate with her, and we were able to include her in creating her own private space..." |* b! H; W+ `0 y5 |( i& W
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4.Our AP's room includes plenty of drawers and storage space, hangers in the closet, a bed with nice linens (and an extra set for when she wants to wash/change them), a small garbage can, a laundry hamper, a TV with cable, and a DVD player. The room is nicely decorated, but we also let our au pair know (in our "welcome letter" on the front of our family handbook) that she is welcome to hang pictures or other decorations, or whatever else she'd like to do to make it "her own." (And we offer help with hanging pictures and/or rearranging furniture if she wants.)
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8 d+ {3 x0 L& s) OAs others have said, we also make sure that EVERYONE in the family respects the AP's room as her private space. The kids know that they are not ever allowed in the AP's room unless they are invited, and we explain this in our family handbook so the AP knows that it's our rule -- so she feels comfortable reminding the kids of the rule if they "forget.") We (host parents) also do not ever go in her room unless invited (or in case of emergency.' n/ h1 o7 t9 l
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5. Reading these excellent suggestions I just have to throw some thoughts out there... We are a minimal TV family and ourselves don't have TVs in our bedrooms -- and our three APs have said they didn't really watch much TV either, so we don't have a TV or cable in the AP room (but there is a computer with wireless internet). Between Skype, youtube and other online media sources there's plenty of entertainment available... and they would go out and explore/experience America with the rest of their free time. We just think it's not something a host family should feel *obligated* to shell out $$ for. $ t) ~7 t6 q& l( a8 H: o
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Along the same lines I think there are certain things we do to make our AP feel welcome and a part of the family, but we have the same standards/expectations for her room as for ourselves and our kids. For example also we don't store food in our own bedrooms (mess/might attract pests/small refrigerator uses more energy than the main one etc). We don't change our own comforter etc every year, but we do use the same quality of linens for the ap as we do ourselves and replace when they start to show signs of wear and tear.
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}( F+ n5 l. n9 J) j7 p' C% j5 AWe don't compromise on quality/comfort, still do our best to have her feel welcome and a part of the family, but don't necessarily feel compelled to redecorate for each new AP! We respect boundaries and privacy and our kids would never go into the AP room when she's not there to fool around or anything but we also haven't had to explicitly establish this, it just followed from our relationship based on respect. Once or twice our very affectionate 4 year old wandered into our first ap's open room to go and cuddle with her for a few min in her off time, and our AP welcomed her in with open arms before we called her back out. Just some food for thought -- not every family has the same relationship with their AP but in a family there has to be some flexibility, it's not always about rights and rules.
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